On the last night
I whispered sweet nothings into your ear
The entire way back to my place.
I knew what I wanted-
And you knew what I wanted-
But a girl’s got to play it coy, ya’ know?
So I turned away and blushed-
So you made the first move-
And what was supposed to be a kiss goodnight
Spiraled into something more
As your hands grew bold-
And my resolve faded away-
And I let myself be consumed by the flames-
You gave me mine in the front seat-
I gave you yours in the back-
I saw stars and stars
And wasn’t that was the same car from before?
But I let it go-
I’m not so innocent now, am I?
The pool of black lace at my feet reminds me-
Well what do you know, the windows really do fog up-
Do the seats still smell like sex?
And how did you explain it in the morning?
And how did it make you feel
When you drove away for good?
Tell me about me-
I want to hear all you know
All about me.
Do I command this room with a whisper?
Or is there a power to my voice?
It it soft or sharp?
Am I beautiful?
Or just merely pretty?
Or not at-all in your eyes-
Is my garden full of red roses or white lilies?
And did I keep the thorns?
Am I cold or warm?
Inside and out?
Do I avoid eye-contact on the streets
Because I’m a bitch?
Or just painfully shy?
Do I sigh out of boredom?
Or does it come place someplace different?
Someplace even I can’t reach?
Do I tear up in my right eye
Because it’s more sensitive to the cold and wind?
Or does it know a painful secret
The left one doesn’t?
Do I stare at the sky because I’m flighty and detached?
Or maybe I sympathize with something so
So taken for granted- because really,
When was the last time you actually looked at the sky?
Tell me, please,
Because I really want to know-
All you know, so please-
Tell me what you know about me.
I hope you never tire of
Imagining the city lights shining in the distance
To be stars, each one with a wish
Just waiting to come true-
Ad so I hope you wish away as the train rocks
The worries in your troubled mind to rest-
I hope moments like these are enough
To keep your heart light and happy
Until we find ourselves in each other’s arms again.
When it’s genuine, it’s the force that makes life worth living-
In a way that is so primal and heartfelt it can only be true-
Take big risks-
Challenge the ethos-
Because one word of truth sounds like a pistol shot-
Living close to the edge- call it what you will-
You catch a brief, tantalizing glimpse
Of the way life could be.
You catch a brief, tantalizing glimpse
Of the way life should be.
A moral, poetic, erotic, and almost spiritual refusal
To be anything but you
When you hold your own hand to the fire-
Only then do the real gains come.
Sometimes shock is what the system needs.
Days fly by like lights on highways
On the darkest nights of the year-
(When restless hearts speed on
And throw their inhibitions to the wind-
As infinity is set on high)
As I dance across fields of purple shadows
While golden rays streak across the painted sky
And the breath of winter barely parts from my lips-
It only stings a little bit.
How long will this last before something gives?
Because something always gives-
Break me away from all of this-
I want to go somewhere and feel
The pulse in my veins-
But what does it mean to be alive
When even sins and should-nots
Have fallen into a routine?
Here, only these brief moments of pain and ecstasy
Remind me of how it really is-
Of how it should be.
Only when I feel my -everything-
In such extremes
Do I remember that I am
My own empty cup lies forgotten-
As I sit and remember the feint taste of
Espresso on your lips.
I’m not sure if it’s the caffeine or what,
But something tells me
I won’t be sleeping again tonight
It’s funny how in but a breath
A lifetime can be lived twice-
And in the blink of an eye
I find my mind beginning to unwind
Darling, I swear over the rapid’s roar
I have never been so at peace-
As I fall, enveloped in the cerulean sky-
I could die, so why does that thought not bother me?
No, my body knows what to do,
Just let go of my shoelaces and I’ll take care of this one-
I think I may have been here before-
In a moment I am baptized into something anew-
It’s cold, but not an unpleasant feeling-
I wonder who I’ll be once I find my way back to you-
And why I find this so- exciting- In a zen sort of way-
Acting on instinct-
Maybe it’s time I got away from myself for a little bit,
But no, even from down here I can hear you cry my name
And I have no choice but to tame the fire
This flood gave way to-
For you I can wait a little bit longer-
I breach the surface and you pull me in again-
Gasping for air
You stare as I laugh in such a way
You haven’t seen me do in years-
Maybe I really have been reborn here-
But in the now I’m too tired even care-
Bring me back to the edge sometime-
Exhaustion is what I needed all along.
My mother once told me
That “you never really see
How toxic someone is
Until you breathe fresher air,”
But never mentioned
What comes after.
When he wasn’t toxic in the sense of
City smog, or exhaust from cars,
But of cigarette smoke and whiskey
In dimly lit bars
When you know you should have left
At least two drinks ago,
But it’s all so warm-
And feels so right-
That you don’t even bother to put up a fight
Against the poison coursing through your veins
As it turns your blood to fire-
This is what the world has taught us
Passion feels like.
So we clench our fists tight
And hold on for dear life-
Even with our shaking hands
And sweating palms,
Because some addictions are just too sweet to break-
So we let them kill us instead,
And always with a smile…
And mother never told me that.
You preferred to watch the comets dance
In and out of your atmosphere-
With their speed and shining tails-
But I have always been a moon-
And so I knew-
Even through my eclipses-
It wouldn’t be long before you felt
My presence pull on your tides.
I’m not an optimist, I’m just stubborn-
It’s easy to get the two confused-
Beaten, broken, battered and bruised-
Used to my end-
But still, here I am again-
Somehow I just can’t be kept down-
But are you actually surprised?
With the guise of a small-town sweetheart
The galaxies within me are masked by
A domestic frame and a demure grin,
You felt them there from the start, didn’t you?
Maybe if you’d look me in the eye you too
Could catch a glimpse of all I have inside
And watch as our stars collide-
But then again, what do I know?
I’m just an optimist,
Everyone seems to think so.