Scratch

Keep calm and keep it inside-
All the pain of searing scars-
The self doubt, self deprecation-
Something just isn’t right here.

The scratches down my back
Should be soothing
In the same way a stubbed toe
Distracts from a splinter,
Numbing everything else-
If only for a second.

And if nothing else, shouldn’t
The raised skin remind me
That you wanted to be here?
At least in the moment,
You wanted

Me

For some strange reason
Something in me caught your eye,
Something in this self
Put together from scratch,
Rebuilt every morning
Because the end goal-
Just getting it right-
Still seems so far out of reach.

You say there’s something here,
Something strong for putting up
With the bullshit for so long,
But if that’s true then why does this
Feel so fucking wrong?

I’m not allowed to love myself,
You see?
It’s just not the way society raised me to be.

Love thy neighbor,
But hate thy self-

Shelf your dreams
For the sake of the machine
And keep on rebuilding from scratch.

Maybe if originality and trust
Were valued more than
Appearances and lust
I could maybe love you,

But you have a lot to learn too,
Because darling, don’t you see?
You don’t really love me-

Just the parts-
Put together from scratch.

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